Ring, Ring, Hello, Hi Robbie, Now who are you?

Death has a funny way of screwing with your ying and yang and all the stuff surrounding. I am sitting here,,well not just now, but for most of the day where ever I happen to be thinking "wtf". My Dad died yesterday. For most of us this is a very sobering occasion, not something we are ever really quite prepared to digest. For me and my siblings it has been many years of what ever happened to him after the divorce. Is he alive or dead and where?
Soon after the family crashed and burned and Mom and Dad went on their separate journeys my father went on with his life. It was good that he moved on,,the not so good option was that he and his new wife decided we were bad or disposable children and we were dismissed from their life's. To say it has spun up the heads of his sperm donation to my mother is an understatement to the heirs of his deposit. The word dysfunctional in my family is classic Olympic gold stuff.
I being a 15 year old something handled it better then the younger 3 kids. My sister two years younger did a fair job of trying to maintain a relationship with him. Ultimately it was a waste of time and more scars were added to our individual Psyche. My younger sister and brother both just never had a clue of how whacked we were and were never explained that they did nothing wrong. It just wasn't my Dad,,but it was his whole clan. None of them agreed on how to spell our family name. It came in many variations and being young I never got just how that was just okay.
Anyway, I was sitting at my desk today,,playing the everything person because of the slow down in the economy. The phone rings and I have this belief that treat folks how you want to be treated that comes from the you reap what you sow school of thought. I answer, Thank you for calling xxxxxxxx can I help you? The male voice on the other end replies, Hello Jenna as if they knew me. I said, Yes this is Jenna can I help you and the reply "Hi its Robbie" I reply hi Robbie how are you in this upbeat voice and he says, Just fine and you? I tell him I'm wonderful and you are Robbie who with whom? His answer is clear with his last name this time and about that time my jaw hits my chest. It is my cousin last seen when he was about 6 years old. Like me his voice has changed,,lol. But no doubt this is no whats knew with you conversation. I ask him why he is calling just in case it is business. More wishful thinking.
He informs me my father died yesterday and he wanted us to know. It seems he was close to my dad. Something that most of us never seemed to achieve. He continues to spell it out for me and I'm not sure how to respond. It seems my dads wife was never going to let us know and Robbie wasn't okay with that. I finally ask him how he found me after the switheroo and all on my part and soon learn he has always known where I was and that had full knowledge of my transition. He wasn't sure how to approach me but was totally accepting. We seem to have a common friend that never let on that he was nearby until today and the need to break the ice so to speak.
So I'm going to met this 6 year old minds eye adult for dinner in a few days and do some of that stuff that families do,,, Bond and be family. I cant wait. A door closes completing closure and another opens,,,,,,imagine that. So tonight I sit here contemplative not sure of all the raw feelings and emotions vacillating through me and say good bye to my father,,,,