Saturday, October 25, 2008

School ,school and yet more school


I was coaxed one day when complaining about my lot in life. I had settle down on the warm sandy beach of the catamaran club where I keep my fiberglass girlfriend to chat with a member who was looking for conversation. He was a older man who has seen up and downs in his life and asked me how I was doing. It was one of those mind spin days of worrying about how I was going to make ends meet. I replied that I was worried what the future held and that my job was tied to a industry that is cyclical in nature and appears to be in decline. I shared that I was beginning to get very concerned with the trends I saw developing in our market area. It wasn't that I'm not grateful for where I am in life,,but the state of where I am going has me a bit more then concerned I told him. No one at the cat club knows of my funky past life and I think he just sees me as a single mom finding her way with her son.

He said, Don't wait for things to get worse. Reinvent yourself, I have many times and learn to change with the times and don't be afraid to start over. I threw all the objections I could think of at him,,,its all I know, I'm to old, I have a house, mortgage and son to worry about. I regret dropping out of college looking for the easier way. He never lost the smile on his face,, So you think you different? You the only one who ever started over again? (well different? damn right,,lol ) I hate being on guard all the time for that slip that would out me.

He asked,, So what would you like to do that you have never done before,,,something that you have pondered but never took serious maybe. I pushed the warm sand about for a bit with my hands and said, I would love to be a RN nurse. My family is full of them and first responders. I am a firefighter already and have toyed with the idea of doing first aid with the squad like my mom and sister.

But I,m too old to start that now and ya know I have bills to pay. He smiled and said, Do it, do it now that is a wonderful career. Your not to old and you have the right drive and personality,,,Do It.

I sat for a bit longer avoiding the fact that the sun was fading, it was time to get my catamaran back in her cradle on the beach and tied down. I thanked him for the conversation and made off to take care of my sailboat. I walked away with a seed planted in my mind.

Well that was two summers ago and I have just about finished my first year in nursing school. Me the girl with the funky past, too old to start over, the college drop out. The worries I had about the economy and the industry I am in were real for me and many others. I struggle more today then back then, how I need tuition money also besides the rest. I have never worked so hard in my life. My free time is study groups, homework, library, yet more study, reviews, study and tests. I juggle work full time and college the same way. Taking care of my son, home and yes leaving a very small bit of time to breath and remembering to enjoy the gift of being me, finally.
ps: I wouldn't change a thing I feel so alive.

No comments: